The World Has Changed…#20

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…and it's not turning back.

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8 thoughts on “The World Has Changed…#20”

  1. The problem is that the Internet is a safe haven for bullies because of the anonymity. There is not a more cowardly way to bully someone then from behind a curtain. Parents need to get involved in helping solve the cyberbullying problem. If parents cared enough about their child being the bully or passing along the material as much as they care when their child is a victim, it would be a huge step forward. But then, of course, how do you know if your child is involved in cyberbullying? You need to monitor their Internet activity. Monitoring software like our PC Pandora records everything that happens on the PC. If your child is a victim, you will know; if they are a bully, you will know. Whatever the case may be with your child, you need to intervene and teach them how to be a Responsible CyberCitizen. Otherwise, the path we are on, will lead to a disheveled generation who have no sense of ethics and humanity. Check us out at http://www.pcpandora.com to see how you can protect your child from the perils of cyberbullying.

  2. Thanks for taking the time to comment Ken although totally disagree with your take on tackling cyberbullying. Education is the key here and monitoring any young persons activities without their knowledge creates a whole new set of issues.

    From personal experience with working on bullying projects in the past, the focus should be about tackling the cause not the problem.

    This “disheveled generation who have no sense of ethics and humanity” know right from wrong and our role as adults is to enable and support them making those right choices.

    NB – Usually I would’ve deleted this post as it’s obviously an attempt to sell software products (which we don’t agree with) but it gave us an opportunity to respond

  3. Agree totally with DK there, snooping on your kid is completely the wrong way to go about cyberbullying, and will probably be even more damaging to your relationship with your child once they find out that you’re spying on them!

    I actually believe that KenS is less worried about cyberbullying and the correct methods of dealing with it, than selling his software.

  4. Simple Spam

    Sad that anyone should think the way to protect their children is to invade their privacy in that way. Maybe spend some time trying to build a relationship with them so you can actually have an honest conversation?!

    As for the rest of your comments Ken they’re nothing more than a very amateur attempt at marketing – scare the parents into buying your software, very subtle!

    You may also want to consider being a little more honest with how you present your stats and claims on your website….

    http://sexoffenderstudies.blogspot.com/2008/11/spreading-1-in-5-number-does-more-harm.html

    http://www.livescience.com/strangenews/060516_predator_panic.html

  5. Mike: your two references point to predators, not bullies. Separate argument.

    Accusing me of just selling software aside (though I am really just trying to present all options), all of your responses are the exact reasons parents have no control in their house.

    Who says you have to snoop? Why don’t you tell your kids: my house, my computer, my rules. Tell them you are monitoring and watching what happens on the PC. You own your PC, do you not? Why shouldn’t you be allowed to know what happens on it? Especially when your kids and their interaction with strangers is part of the ‘happens’.

    There is a HUGE difference between “snooping” on your kids and being a responsible parent that knows what goes on. If you can’t see that distinction, than your child has the upper hand. This is not the lock-and-key diary anymore. Expecting privacy on the Internet is ridiculous.

    Second, along with the “spying,” most kids do everything in such an open and public way that EVERYONE sees what they are doing – except for the clueless parents, who often don’t care. I am trying to change that mentality and get them TO care… and showing them that there are tools that exist to help. Again, there is no privacy on the Internet.

    All the tips and advice that get regurgitated time and time again have had ZERO effect in helping the situation. Bullying has gotten worse – so much so and to the point that now we are making laws to deal with bullies – because parents couldn’t do their job… or didn’t want to. Do you prefer the new laws to the simplicity of parents taking back control of their own house?

    Not one parent has ever tried to return our software claiming that everything was a-ok on their PC and their child is a little angel. It’s not enough to just “talk to kids” and hope for the best. 20 years ago our parents talked to us and we ignored them and did stupid things and bullied others (I was actually a bully’s target) – but we didn’t have the power of the internet as a stage/portal for the stupidity and bullying.

    I’m not going to argue with you guys. You have your views, I have mine. I am not using fear tactics, I am presenting a solution. If you don’t need it – great, good for you, not everyone does. But many do, and they have told us so.

    Lastly, while I admit to making posts on other’s blogs as a way of Internet marketing, I challenge you to find ONE other person that does what I do and actually adds thought to the post. Everyone else just gives a link and writes utter BS about how their program is the best. At least I put thought into my comments and try to spark a discussion – which clearly I have done. Many share your views, which are very understandable. I do not, and try to share my opinion with others. So thank you for not just deleting my post and letting the discussion procede.

    The insults and accusations, though, are unnecessary.

  6. kudos for replying Ken. The links I pointed to are in reference to the claims on your own site that suggest that 1 in 7 children have been approached by an online predator. I would class that as scaremongering, given that it appears the use of the word ‘predator’ has been at best loose.

    I’m not aware of any evidence that “All the tips and advice that get regurgitated time and time again have had ZERO effect in helping the situation” – on what basis are you able to make that judgement? In fact I would counter that if there has been zero improvement in “the situation” then arguable software packages and filters such as yours that have been in use for some years, particularly in schools have therefore also had little or no benefit either. From the reading and work I’ve done with young people it seems the vast majority of young people are very aware of the measures to take to protect themselves online.

    Even if a parent were to go to the trouble of “sitting down with their child and reviewing their internet activity”, don’t you think that in reality the likely effect of doing so is simply going to cause that child to go elsewhere and get online where they don’t feel they’re going to be spied on? There are plenty of legitimate and safe spaces on the internet that young people choose to go and that understandably they wouldn’t want their parents to be aware of – take young people exploring issues of sexuality or faith as an example.

    Your latter point is to your credit – it does make a pleasant change to see somebody giving consideration to the points they make when marketing a product this way. That said I think its a flawed product that does indeed rely on instilling unnecessary fear into parents as an attempt to persuade them to purchase. Parents that are ignorant of the internet need to be supported on how best to make use of it, and to understand it – not to be scared into invading the privacy of their children – do you really think thats the best way for parents to have a strong relationship with their children?

    http://www.ehow.com/how_2121561_respect-childs-right-privacy.html

  7. Like most things in education, it simply comes down to talking with each other. You don’t have to snoop on your kids if you have an open relationship with them and they trust you. So you can ask your kids “what kind of games are you playing?” or “what kind of chat-rooms are you using?”. Tell them they can always, any time of the day or the night, come to you with their concerns if they have any. Tell them to not set up any “real life” appointments with anybody they have met online. Tell them they can also call their friends on the phone – they don’t have to connect with them through facebook or classmates or stayfriends or whatever social (online) network they are on. Just talk! Build a relationship based on trust and openness and not a spy society.

    Chris

  8. Thanks for the response Ken, appreciated – maybe you would consider rephrasing your views in the future and say that you’re just presenting an alternative option for tackling this issue.

    If you’re open to it, would you consider being a interviewed on a podcast about these issues and questions brought up by our community? If so get in touch via the contact form.

    We wish you well with your endeavours – maybe it’s not wrong, just wrong for us and our experience on young peoples use of the net (we think there are far more positives than negatives plus less evasive strategies).

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